Worst. Nightmare. Ever. So I was trying to coordinate five different (mixed-up couples) pre-arranged marriages, aka our Home Ec. projects. One was a disco party, one was spider themed, one was dinosaur themed, one was a Hawaiian luau, and mine (ugh) was a blimp wedding.
So first I went to the dinosaur themed one, which was my classmate Mykayla and Harry Potter. I had to corral the dinosaurs into a pen, put shock collars on all of the pterodactyls so they couldn't escape, set up the canopy (which was a massive leaf), drained the hazardous volcano, and dug a pool. I had no complaints from either side of the married couple, though
The second wedding was the spider themed wedding, for my old neighbor Tyler and my friend Violet (sorry V). So theirs was totally underground, and their wedding canopy was this super-stretchy rubber spiderweb. I was trying to put that up but I fell on it and bounced to Arizona. Once I finally made it back the marriage was three days away. I had to get the cake ready, fix the canopy, get the real spiderwebs out from the cave, hang up antistench samples disguised as spiders to get rid of the stench, mop up puddles, gather the webs, decorate, buy a ton of fake spiders, hang them up one by one, send out invites, and convince Violet that Tyler wasn't that bad.
The third wedding was the luau, between Selena Gomez's little sister and my Spanish teacher (shudder). I had to prep the beach, translate the invitations from French into both English and Spanish, then tie a seine net to be the canopy, rake up the sand, and purify the beach water on day 1. On day 2 I had to color-code the lei decor, grow a couple of pineapples, roast some pigs, harvest apples to put in their mouths, and convince Sarah (the sister) that Mr. P wasn't that bad.
The fourth wedding was the disco party. I had to prepare the whole thing for Leonardo DiCaprio and my grandmother's attractive, single friend. Creepy.
My wedding was weird. We were in a blimp for the vows but had to jump out and parachute romantically down to earth for the kiss, which is when I woke up. It would've been the most romantic, adrenaline-packed, super-cool wedding ever, if I had been in love- or even had ever met- my bridegroom.
I was so glad I woke up. I thought for sure I had given my single life to this weird guy if never met before. PRAISE JESUS IT WASN'T REAL.
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